I've Made My Choice - Forever
by Kiorru-dono
Summary: The World is burning. "The last child, the last to survive" – The world dies, but Rose Tyler escapes – sent back through time – through the vortex – through universes. Back to the world she was born. Set after the Master and Ten destroy the portal so that Galifrey does not destroy earth in The End of Time. Wilfred does not enter the chamber and Ten never dies. Ten/Rose
1. Beginning

Edits: minor edits done as of 14/07/2014.

I took some time off because I realize I did not have a real plot. Plot found. New ideas coming. See you soon.

Any additional ideas, or dialogue ideas for the Doctor (Oh, I am bad with all the elevated diction he uses), will be loved and appreciated.

I have a track record of not finishing fiction, but hopefully this time I can do it ;p I have a pretty solid idea.

- Kiorru

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><p>The World is burning. "The last child, the last to survive" – The world dies, but Rose Tyler escapes – sent back through time – through the vortex – through universes. Back to the world she was born. Set after the Master and Ten destroy the portal so that Galifrey does not destroy earth in <em>The End of Time. <em> Wilfred does not enter the chamber and Ten never dies. Ten/Rose, Ten D./Rose.

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><p><strong>Prologue: <strong>_**The End**_

The world was burning. Giant clouds of smoke rising, rising and blotting the sky, leaving the world dark, bleeding.

People were running, screaming, doing all they could to survive. Fleeing to the sea, underground, to the skies, anywhere, but to no avail.

Children cried for their mothers. Mother's wept and ended their sorrows. Courageous fathers took arm. Brave men and women lead. But no one could stop it. Stop them. Stop the burning, the fighting, the death, the smoke, the fires. The great, great fires. Billowing flames. The blood seeping through the group, the bodies littering the ground. No one could stop it. Stop the yelling, the cursing, the crying, the killing. No one.

The world was dying.

Giant balloons littered the sky, their bodies falling one by one towards the ground – crushing, crashing, collapsing into cities, civilians, cliffs, condemning all to death's immortal chill.

"What are you doing Jackie! Come on, leave that stuff behind"

"But- _Benjamin" _the voice sounded confused and elated. "I can hear them"

Benjamin hissed at her "_Everybody _is screaming Jackie – everyone is _dying!" _

"But, Benjamin this is-"

A Hindenburg crashed, lighting up the sky – blinding and pushing down everything around it.

"Jackie!" Benjamin yelled in amazement as he held the truck in front of him, burning wind trying desperately to push him to the ground. They shared a look, his eyes flickering to her unclenched hands. He took a step back in surprise as the wind stopped.

"What" His mouth went dry. "But, the explosion…" His heart throbbing against his chest. Drawing the links, his eyes reflected his understanding and shock.

Jackie nodded at him, eyes filling with tears.

"I've been through so much pain Bennie. I've waited so long and now… Now I'll neve-" her face smoothed out, lips pursed. "This is the only way."

"But we _can't _Jackie!"

His eyes widening as he realized what she meant to do.

"We gotta get out of 'ere!"

Benjamin and Jackie turned towards the sound of a voice – Rose ran towards them, her hands clutching an old beaten, brown suitcase. _Her _father's bag.

When she'd been searching for the Doctor, warping through time and space, she'd involuntarily stopped at her old pad. Nostalgic, she'd searched the apartment, taking small objects here and there, memorabilia of her past life. In her mother's room she'd found the bag.

She'd felt compelled to bring the old thing back to her mother – a memory of her real father and not her new step father who cared nothing about her; only the little boy who'd died early after birth, effectively destroying the man. No amount of money could _fix _the boy. He'd been born with Dextrocardia situs inversus and died from heart failure.

"Why you lot lookin' at me like 'at? We're go'na get out a 'ere – Torchwood's coming for us."

Benjamin just stared at her. Eyes wide, mouth slightly parted in the form of an o, his breath erratic, and his eyes shifting quickly between mother and daughter.

"Stop freaking out and come on! We have to get to the platform!" Growled Rose, grinding her teeth at the two creatures; one gapping at her, while the other frowned sadly at her.

"Torchwood isn't coming." The man clipped out, voice chocking as he surveyed the sky; surveying the giant blimps, burning, and crashing like asteroids.

"What are you talking about" Grated the girl, "Torchwood is coming for me. I am the director! I am their _leader!" _

"They fell from the sky Rose. They're _dead. _All of them – dead! And there is nothing I can d-"

Jackie looked up at him, eyes glowing fiercely with a glint in them that Rose had never seen before; as if something had awakened inside her. Something ready to fight.

"No, Benjamin. I can do this- we have to do this. Together we can fix this – save _her_"

"What…?" He gasped, shacking his head, a sob wreaking his body. "I'm not ready". He moaned, holding her violently.

"This is the only way we can set this right, innit?" Jackie roared as she pushed the man off of her by the shoulder and grabbed his face. "Now listen, we do not have a choice. You have to do this Benjamin. If you care anything about her – if you understand what is happening, we _must_ do this".

The moan groaned, mumbling to himself, twisting and contorting his fingers as he paced.

"So… the last child of the planet." Benjamin gripped her shoulders, faces inches from her face, wild eyed. "The last one to survive?".

"The last one… and I'm going to lose her again- she'll lose _me -_ my precious baby"

"What's going on?" Rose asked, lips dipping down, her heart accelerating, feeling apprehensive about the way both adults where holding on to each other. Her eyebrows scrunching down towards her nose creating ripples on her forehead.

The two of them turned and smiled fondly at her.

"Brilliant. Simply Brilliant! And all this time I thought you were…" A part of his other self, the other him, resurfaced – the smile she remembered from so long ago plastered on his face – the same face but so different.

"Oi, careful what you say about me boy!" she grinned, winking at the man.

"Oh Jackie. Oh! Let's do this Jackie – just you and me against the world, what d'ya say!" Benjamin grinned, laughing with tears in his eyes.

Both indulged themselves – laughing as the world died around them.

"Oh, Brilliant. You, you Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler, are a brilliant, brilliant genius is what you are!"

She smiled fondly at him, like a lost friend she'd been waiting so long to see again and took his hand and turned towards her daughter with a determined look.

"I love you so much Rosie – one day, you'll understand I had no choice."

She brought her hand up to her face and whipped the tears from her eyes.

"What's going on." Rose whispered, the hairs on her back standing on end, "This isn't funny. We've destroyed them before – we can do it again!" She shouted at the two figures standing before her – their tired, determined eyes speaking more than words ever could.

"No Rose. You and the Doctor destroyed them – I've never done anything remotely close." He stared at her with blank, sad eyes.

"I wish this could be different, I really do. I wish I could have been what you'd always wanted but… oh… you, you always find a way" his voice cracked and he hugged Jackie to his side, beaming at Rose.

"Don't forget us yeah?"

"I love you so much baby"

"What are you guys prattling on about? Tell me! Stop acting like the world's about to end"

"Oh but Rose…" Her mother gave the tall, brown haired man a firm, grieved look.

_**Exterminate. The Humans will be Exterminated. **_

"Now"

Benjamin pulled out a key, a key the Doctor had given him so long ago, and aimed it at Rose.

"I love you. I always have, but you were never mine to keep".

He pressed the small key as though it were the key to a Smart car, the starter inserted into its handle, and she heard the familiar hum of the universe. A sound she had not heard in over a year.

Eyes wide, Rose Tyler stood frozen to the ground, unable to move as the world started blinking in and out of focus.

"Good bye, Rose Tyler."

"No!" She roared, "Mom! Benjamin!"

_**All Human's will be EXTERMINATED. **_

_**All Human's will SURRENDER. **_

_**Whaaat iss thisss? **_

_**EXTERMINATE. **_

_**EXTERMINATE. **_

_**EXTERMINATE. **_


	2. Chapter 1

Edit as of 14/07/2014 – story edited to fix for plot.

Please remember, in this rendition the Doctor never got the radiation and therefore does not die, although he is still deeply troubled about the danger he causes to those around him. We could say he's depressed…

- Kio

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><p><strong>Chapter One: <strong>_**Welcome to Earth **_

"Ground control to major Tom, your circuits dead, there's something wrong"

– David Bowie _Space Oddity_

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><p>The Sontaran fell listlessly towards the ground with a metallic 'thunk'. In his place stood a tall, brown haired man wearing a brown suit and a tan overcoat, his eyes sorrowful. He watched on with his hands in his pockets as the couple below observed him. It wasn't that he didn't like them that he was leaving, oh no, it was more than that. He could not risk putting them in any more danger than they already were – here he was, a changer of men – a killer – a bloody killer. Ok, well, maybe he was not a killer but he had turned them into killers; the once innocent and idiotic boy stood as a man; tall, proud, assertive and poised for battle, the woman next to him no longer a victim to providence but a proud warrior. He had done this.<p>

The man turned and left, followed softly by the sound of his time machine leaving the twenty-first century.

"That was the Doctor" Grinned Mickey as he pulled his wife closer to him.

"He looked different, sad" She bit her lips, her eyebrows slopping down.

"Don't be like that Martha, he was probably upset that he had to come to our aid" with a wink he pulled the woman into his arm and pressed his lips against hers in a possessive embrace.

"Oi, get off me!" grinned Martha as she pushed softly against his armored chest.

The man smirked and let his wife free – she turned from him, prepping her gun and surveying their environment. Bringing up her wrist up for observation, she checked her scanner, fussing with the device before turning to her husband with a tight smile.

"S'all ok here; that was the last of them"

"Are you sure? You said that last time and look 'at him!" The man pointed his gun towards the fallen Sontaran and then gave his wife a pointed look. "We could have died". The woman snorted at him and scanned the environment again, a low hum emitting from the device as she raised her arm around, scanning the parameter.

"Nothing Mickey, I swear"

The man nodded and shrugged his gun.

"Alright, let's go then"

The pair did a final visual survey around the parameter before shouldering their guns, packs and ammunition and trekking back towards their vehicle. As they passed, and began preparation to dissolve the fallen Sontaran, they heard the familiar sound of the Tardis. But, the _wahh wahh_ sound wailing through the area was different; It's frequency higher, and more urgent then minutes before.

Startled, the two quickly sprayed the Sontaran, effectively destroying his body and any traces of the alien. Worry sped them up and with tight grimaces and thundering hearts, the two made their way up the ramp and towards the booming sound.

A burst of wind threw them against the railing; clutching and pressing them against the cool metal. They hung for their lives, eyes closed and heads tucked towards their shoulders. But moments later, the freak wind died out, the clearing falling silent again. Mikey and Martha shared a look as they rubbed the debris from their eyes and, invigorated, ran towards the dissipating noise.

Rose Tyler, blond, holding a beaten brown bag stood on the walk way, her feet planted exactly where the Doctor had stood mere minutes ago. Her torn clothes clung to her body, the tattered remains of a pink sweater hanging limply from her body; her back facing the two approaching humans.

Slowly, she brought her hands up, dropping the old bag with a cloud of dust, before resting her palms and twisting her fingers around the metal railing in front of her. She looked out into the sky, her eyes focusing on the horizon, remaining motionless save her eyes; unmoving and rooted to the spot. She opened her mouth and yelled. Shrieked. Screamed. A mournful noise that carried – carried over the landscape, carrying a painful story, carrying a dreadful apprehension.

Mickey, having reached the stairs first, stood thunderstruck as he surveyed his ex; the woman, whom in the past, he would have laid down everything to be with. She stood screaming, tears falling like rain down her pale face and wide, dilated eyes.

"What's going on?" Martha took the last few steps before coming to stand next to her husband.

"What is she doing here?" she hissed, her mouth slack. Her body refusing to move at her command, staying still as she observed the girl they had left in another universe so long ago. Her screams had died down into pitiful mewling cries, her body shuddering.

"Mickey, what is she doing here – the universe-"

"I know!"

He approached the girl and turned her around revealing her tear blurred eyes and snot dripping nose. He curled his nose a little, eyeing the girl for any damage but she interrupted him as she threw herself into his arms. Bitter tears clung to his leather jacket as she wept into his shoulder; incoherent words flowing from her mouth; desperately clinging to him.

To his wife's great discomfort, Mickey held her, rocking them both from side to side, as the girl continued to shed silent tears.

"Where did she come fro- how!"

Martha's demanding plea went unanswered, Mickey unable to respond with any kind of suitable reason for how the girl might have managed to cross parallel universes.

"Let's take her back to our base".

The man nodded, a grim look on his face. He picked up Rose and nodded his head towards the lumpy bag hanging off the side of the rafter. Martha grabbed the musty suitcase and holding her gun out in front of her, in case any new intruders appeared, lead the way to the car.

"_I can't do this anymore Rose, it's gotten out of hand"_

_T-shirt, jean trousers and short, clipped hair. _

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_This – us! I can't live in his shadow"_

"_What are you talking about Docto-"_

"_Stop calling me that!_

"…"

"_I am _not _the Doctor. I am Benjamin. I am just a regular human"_

"_But Doc-"_

"_I'm not _him_ Rose.. I can't … I don't remember who he is"_

"_The Tardis"_

"_I'm so sorry Rose. I'm sorry it had to be this way" _

She was lying on a sanitary bed. The various smell of antiseptics, bleach and the rusty, burning smell of an old heater nauseating her. She cradled her head; her mouth thick, her tongue slow and her eyes dry as sand. Needing to find something to drink, she lifted her legs off the side of the bed and surveyed her surroundings.

_Yup,_ she thought, _hospital room_. She turned around, her eyes moving slowly and focusing slightly on the contents of the room; a small white bed, a narrow dresser, a small sink and a toilet.

She did not remember how she had gotten into this peculiar situation. The hairs on the back of her neck and upper back stood on end. She worried her lower lip with her teeth, dreadfully away of the lack of her mother's presence. Every time she had gotten hurt during an operation with Torchwood, her mother was always there.

"Mum?"

She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, biting her left index finger.

No one answered.

"Ben?"

Growing impatient with the lack of response, Rose opened the door to her room and stepped into a much cooler corridor; clearly not heated like the rest of her room. The hallway slithered down in two identical directions, doors dotting its walls every five or ten feet. The hall, much like her room, was bare of any indication save for a pink door mat 50 feet or so away.

Huffing, the girl made her way towards the doorway, intent on finding out what she was doing in a hospital with no one monitoring her.

She reached the door, and with more force than she intended, and threw it open onto the surprised faces of Marth and Mickey. Struck dumb, the girl ogled the pair, her arms falling limply towards her sides.

"Hey." Mickey.

"Hi" Rose.

They both observed each other from across the room, a small pad that contained a fully equipped kitchen and living room as far as she could see. A kettle rested on the counter, the smell of tea wafting through the flat.

Martha, her fingers nervously tapping against her white cup, jumped up between the pair, offering tea to the newcomer, but the two stood entranced, ignoring her efforts to stop their interaction.

"Hey…" Rose tried again, mouth dry.

Mickey surveyed her, his lips merging in a tight line.

"What are you doing here?"

Rose started back, her eyebrows shooting up into her brows.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She growled, hands on her sides, "Seriously Mickey!" she approached him, frowning deeply, "What are you doing here! Alright, so I'm in a hospital, that does not mean you can fly through time and space to come see if I am ok! We had a deal; you stayed there and Jackie, Ben and I here!"

"Who the hell is Ben!"

Martha shivered hearing the possessive tone aimed not at _her, _but towards another. Her heart clenched and she bit her tongue harder then she intended.

"And why are we even having this conversation – no, I don't care who your little boyfriend is, we had a deal Rose Tyler! You had your Doctor, you were supposed to stay _there!"_

"What do you mean, 'I was supposed to stay there', you're the one here!"

"Rose, this is not the parallel universe"

Both the tall male and Rose turned towards the grim faced woman, her hands clenched and her jaw set.

"what?"

"She's right Rose! How did you get here? Time manipulation? Some vortex? A new Torchwood project?"

Rose stood agape, thoughts filtering through her mind to fast for her to comprehend their subject or meaning.

"What?"

"Rose, for heaven's sake! You're on _Real Earth_"

Thump.

Rose fell to the floor clutching her heart, trying to force herself to breath.

"What!" Mickey snarled angrily, "The Duplicate wasn't good enough for you" his voice betrayed him in the end; _I wasn't good enough for you. _

He was unable to stop the feeling of anger that swept through his veins – he had done everything for this girl, and she had shot him down. Then, he had done everything to make her happy, and she had destroyed it. Nothing he did was good enough for Rose Tyler, she just kept coming back and destroying his peace and happiness.

The man kept ranting, his anger begetting him as he envisioned all the possible repercussion of Rose forcing her way through parallel universes to come back.

"They're gone." The room filled with the sounds of breathing – no one stired.

"What did you say?"

Fighting through the haze of tears attempting to force their way down her pale face, and struggling to contain the anguished cries in her throat, Rose hiccupped, "I'm the last one, he said".

Martha shared a look with Mickey, walking slowly past her husband and bending down towards the girl, putting her arm slowly around her.

"What happened Rose" She whispered, her jealousy all but forgotten.

"All gone. They're all gone. _Last _one, they said, _last child."_

"How did you get here Rose", clearly still upset, Mickey's voice demanded answers.

"Lay off Mike – can't you see-"

"I don't care! What is she doing here!? This could destroy the Universe!"

"It isn't at the moment, yeah? So lay off!"

The two continued bickering, spiting at each other curses and demands. Rose muttered to herself and shook her head.

Her vision started to blur as the fighting couple began arguing loudly. Their voices began sounding distorted and tribal as she began to gasp for breath. Coughing, she struggled for air, her heart pressing against her ribs savagely. She fell to the ground, her arms clawing at her throat.

The fighting stopped.

Straps, syringes, soft slumbers, soft, soft sheet. Mind slipping, thoughts drifting, eyes wide, a broken smile, "I can't be the last". Play, repeat. Play, repeat. _Your circuits dead, there's something wrong._


	3. Chapter 2

Updated as of 14-07-2014

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><p><strong>Chapter two:<strong>

_**In Memoriam**_

Don't think you're gonna change what's inside of me  
>Make me who you want me to be<br>Won't be someone I'm not  
>Somebody else, someone else<br>Love me with all my imperfections  
>Not for an image of your design<br>Love me for what you see inside

- Ashley Tisdale

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><p>"She can't stay here Jackie, she has to get her own place"<p>

"What are you talking about Pete! She's our daughter"

"No Jackie, this is my baby"

Jackie let out a whistling sigh.

"But Pete, she's my baby too"

"But she's… old… old enough to have her own place"

Rose turned away from the door. Eavesdropping did not become her. She'd always thought that once this Pete had gotten to know her, the daughter he never had, he'd come to love her, cherish her as he did her brother. He'd put himself in danger to save her – for a _debt. _

She had known since the first time she'd been forced back here - known the minute he had pushed her off of him as she'd tried to bury her face into his shoulder. Her mother had held her while she cried, cried for the Doctor the first time – she'd told her Pete was just uncomfortable with the idea of a child so soon – that she'd be happy here – she'd have a good life. But he had done it for a _debt. _ A debt to _her_ Doctor – for saving _his_ world.

She eventually got over the fact that she would never have _her _father – but Pete did 'mellow' out some; especially after her mother had gotten pregnant. At that point, though, it was as if he was trying to prove that he would be a good father to the newborn – but he would never really _love_ her.

However, she had to be fair. The man was not all bad, she routinely told herself; he just did not want to see her as his daughter – just some friend or friend of his wife. Her mother had married him after a doctor – not her Doctor – had pronounced her pregnant but they had still made time to bring her to her Doctor when he had called to her in her dreams.

She ran her fingers through her dirty hair – she'd been overworking at Torchwood lately. After the Doctor had returned her to "her time" – how could it be _her time _when she was not even born here – with his clone, she'd been working non-stop making sure that this world was not about to blow up – parallel universes, a girl had to check.

She did not blame Pete for wanting time alone with his wife – they all seemed to believe she would be happy and soon married herself to 'her' Doctor – the other doctor. That she would move in with him. They believed it would be beneficial as he lived closer to Torchwood than she did. It would be easier on everyone.

But it had been a bad idea.

At first, it felt like she was with her Doctor – they shared past stories and laughed about their crazy adventures and had eventually began growing a Tardis – The Doctor and Doctor Dona had given them a small shard and the red haired woman had explained to the new doctor how to accelerate and take care of the shard properly.

The Tardis was slow to grow, but Rose had not expected it to grow at all… Of course, once it got to a substantial size, they would have to start building a console, but the Other Doctor had told her it would be "Easy breasy, lemon squeezy" – he had done it _numerous times_ before. Nevertheless, some part of her knew that the new Doctor was slightly more mad than her's - that the Tardis built its own console – she had seen it change before. The Tardis was a sentient creature. But, she reasoned, perhaps since it was a newborn, it would need the extra help to develop that ability.

She'd moved into his apartment before her step-father could evict her.

"I need my own space".

She did not want to be a bother.

Her mother had cried and told her she could stay at _home_ as long as she wanted – but Pete's eyes had told her it was time to go – and go she did.

The other doctor had smiled proudly at her – and she'd blushed under his waggling brows.

"Thought you'd never come save me from my boredom! It's so _boring _here. Is life always this _long? _Now on Gallifrey, one could-"

That day, she had only listened with one ear as she explored his apartment – they did not usually spend time here, usually he would come to her. He had made a few changed since the last time she had been over though; the walls, every wall, was painted a deep, bright Tardis Blue.

She worried her lower lip with her teeth. Something felt different – _wrong. _She ran her fingers across his tables, counters and peeked into his room – everything was clean. Not just clean, but polished – supremely clean. The apartment itself looked posh – blue should have made the rooms look smaller but the man had impeccable taste; he had a modern kitchen painted pure white, thick white drapes held back with gold, silk ropes, and the hard wood floors gleamed under her feet. The plush carpets in the living room were soft and a sterile hospital white.

"Wow Doctor, seems like someone's been doin' some work around here"

He stood smiling, hands in his pockets – he loved it when she bit her tongue just a bit.

"Rose Tyler" He grinned "my roommate – took your sweet time, but here we are! Doctor and Rose in the tar-" he stopped for a second, his smile dropping and frowning slightly.

"Well, it isn't the Tardis, but – here, let me show you to your room"

"Don't need too" she winked, "I know where I'll be sleeping"

His eyes widened as she walked towards his room, giving him a sultry look as she passed the threshold.

"You really have been bored"

His room, like the rest of his apartment, was clean – usually his bed would be left undone; he was not used to having to do any of this himself of course. Spoiled Time Lord, she sniggered, the Tardis had done all the work for him – it would do him some good to learn about real life now that he was human.

But, that's what he was now. Human. Prey to human diseases. Prey to his own devices. His own mind.

Three months later, he'd woken up screaming. Clutching his head, tears rolling down his face. She'd been a little bit cranky at having been kicked and then awoken by a scream – but she'd let go of the pain and had taken him into her arms. He cried all night. Telling her stories about Gallifrey – how he'd had no choice – the children, all the children that died – it had been _his _fault.

"I want to forget it" He'd cried, "I didn't make those choices! It wasn't me!"

She had held him all night – that was all she could do – whispering to him that she was there for him and that she would listen and hold him and love him; that it would go away.

But, it did not.

The dreams became worst, the screaming and sleepless nights more frequent. They both walked around the office with dark faces and hollow eyes. He had started closing himself off from her, not really interacting with her outside of taking care of the budding Tardis crystal hidden in Torchwood, and when they shared the bed at night.

And then one day, it all changed.

He woke up with a smile on his face. No screaming, no thrashing in his sleep like she had become accustomed to; no yelling or arguing, just _nothing_. She'd grinned, kissing him good morning before legging it to the kitchen for a nice cuppa.

"Doctor, I'm making tea, want some?"

He had grinned at her, buttoning up his shirt and winking at her – he'd caught her watching again. She blushed and turned away, trying not to rip his shirt off his body as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered, "Of course".

He knew how it affected her, when he spoke to her like that, but he did it anyways – teasing her.

They'd tried to do it once – be intimate, but having spent years not doing it the doctor had been unable. He had been embarrassed and angry with himself and had never tried again. She had seen the conflicted look in his eyes as she had led him to his bed that first day – the day she moved in – she had wanted to get the next part of the relationship over with – rushing herself. She had wanted to be happy. Wanted them happy.

But that was not to be.

He started to forget.

It started small; she'd bought jelly babies as a joke – something he had told her about one of his previous lives, and he had stared blankly at her as she'd asked; "Do you wana jelly baby?". That day she thought that perhaps, perhaps it had not been jelly babies, maybe she had gotten it wrong…

It became obvious that something in his had changed. He stopped sharing stories. He started gazing at the blue walls, just staring at them and then one day, she had come home and they were green.

"I like green, green's a nice color, everyone should like green" he'd told her when she had asked – she didn't question his answer as he chewed a pear.

And then, one day, he came home with a straight face. His eyes were neutral and his hands were so far down his pants that he appeared limbless.

"Welcome home, Doctor" She'd told him as she always did, a smile on her face as she looked over her documents.

"Hey Rose"

She turned to him, setting down the treaties. His voice was strange.

"Everything alright?"

He grimaced and came to stand in front of her, grabbing and holding her hand in his larger ones. The heat of his palm made them sticky and wet.

"Benjamin"

"What?"

"Benjamin." He affirmed, voice slightly hoarse.

"I don't know any Benjamin". Her voice was slow, as she eyed him nervously.

"No, me!" he stressed, pointing at himself, mouth open. "From now on, I can't- I don't want to be called The Doctor – call me Benjamin".

"Not John Smith?" It was the only thing she had been able to come up with. The moisture of their entwined hands began to be uncomfortably warm.

"Rose, please" he stressed, "Benjamin, I've never met a bad Bennie, well.. Actually, I don't remember meeting any Bens. But- that's beside the point.."

From that day on, everyone called him Benjamin. Overnight, he became a completely different person; no more button ups, or long coats, or tailored trousers – he started wearing cotton shirts, v-necks and jeans. Lots of jeans. His tussled hair, the hair she'd watch him fuss about in another life, he shaved so close to his scalp she could count the tiny freckles.

She stayed with him anyways – even with his new image she could still see her doctor deep down inside of him; in the way his eyes lit up and the dazzling smile he reserved for her. She had loved him as another man, and had watched him literally become a new one. This would be no different, she persuaded herself.

One morning, the Tardis died. The blue light graying and the pieces of the core crumbling.

"You let it die!" Rose had yelled in clear frustration. She had known it would take a long time before they could sail the skies, go back in time and visit this world's past and future but she had been prepared to wait.

Benjamin, chewed on his lips and held her at arm's length as he spoke in a anxious voice.

"I'm sorry Rose! I just couldn't remember if I applied the … and then – arg, it's all a big jumble in my head Rose – I couldn't – I can't"

"Couldn't what!"

"I CAN'T REMEMBER ROSE"

"Doc-"

"NO! Stop it Rose- just – I'm Benjamin – I'm not him! I can _never _be him Rose! And I'm starting to forget! Forget who I was – what I did – what I liked – what I was like!" He stared her deeply in the eyes.

"I'm not, and cannot be the man you loved. The one that traveled the stars and visited new worlds – that will never be me."

She had cried all night after their confrontation – the Tardis was gone, the doctor was gone, and she felt so alone again. Ben was working the overnight shift and all she could do was lie on the bed, looking at the ceiling – thinking, remembering her Doctor; the way he smiled, the adventures, the way he smelled – she missed his scent. Benjamin had never smelt exactly the same – he'd smelt… more human. Not that smelling human was a _bad _thing.. he just, did not smell like himself.

They had tried staying together – trying to be a _normal human _couple. They'd go out for a cuppa, visit museums and city attractions, celebrated Christmas and New years together. He'd even given her a pair of blue-gemmed ear-rings for her birthday – in memoriam he'd said with a thin smile.

They'd broken up soon after.

"I'm sorry Rose" he'd cried as he held her in his arm, "I am so sorry".

She'd felt her heart break slightly. Her limp body against his. Their pounding hearts thrummed against each other as he tightened his hold on her. Their combined hearts thumping mere moments after one another, reminded her painfully of another man.

"I can't do it Rose, I can't be him" he whispered in a low, hoarse tone. She made a move to say something to contradict him, but he stopped her, "Rose, I can't be with you."

He'd done it quickly. Preferring to rip the Band-Aid off instead of trying to peel it back slowly – he'd wanted to stop the pain as quickly as possible.

He'd helped her move back in with Jackie and Pete, her mother about ready to burst; her belly protruding so far out that she wondered how the poor woman managed to move.

Pete had not been too thrilled but had not complained. Benjamin then started to ignore her. Spending more hours at work, avoiding her – she only knew he was still working because his supervisor would hand her his hours so that she could sign his checks.

She usually did not do finances – she usually just helped out in the laboratories or military, but eventually, all her hard work had paid off and she'd been promoted to assistant director when she had returned from her world the second time. She'd had more than enough money to move out – to buy herself a house if she wanted to – but she couldn't stand the idea of being alone. A home was not a house and she did not want to be alone with her thoughts.

"I want to be my own self" he'd said.

"I can never be him"

"I don't want to be him."

"I want to stay here. On earth"

She'd cried – knowing he would never be the man she had fallen in love with so many years ago when he had whisked her off her feet and taken her across the universe. She had fallen in love with the traveling, the adventures, and more importantly, with him. With all of him.

She was alone, again. In another world and this time, she had no hope of ever getting back to her Doctor.

Rose Tyler was nothing if not a fighter, but when the fight left her, she adapted. Forgetting there was even another universe.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapters will be approx. this length from now on. Sorry for the long hiatus but I needed to finish school, then lost interest in this story because I had not figured out a plot. Figured out a plot I have :D woooo. Just you wait - Rose will be blazing up and ready to go... sooner or later ^^" hey! I guess losing you family and friends is heard yea? but no really... It is hard and if Rose is abit OoC it is because she is going through Trauma and has to come to terms with it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

Tore me down and made it clear  
>As I sunk to the bottom<br>I stare at space from the ocean floor  
>It all surrounds me, kills me softly<p>

_World Around Me_ (Escape the Fates)

* * *

><p>Rose woke up in a cold sweat, her body lurching forwards as fat, glistening, droplets of perspiration trailed down her back and onto the covers of the bed she had previously been laying on. Her eyes surveyed the area through narrow slits – her eyes having not yet adjusted to the brightly lit room. She licked her lips and chewed her tongue warily.<p>

The room was small and old. A thick, musty odor wafted from the heater – a scent she could only identify as _recently turned on heater._ The grimy walls looked hurriedly washed: hand marks and peeling paint created a decorative motif across the cubed room. The wooden floorboards appeared underused but apparent moisture had accumulated under them, swelling them up into small arcs across the area of the room. The ratted sheets under her hands felt stiff and coarse and like the room, had a distinct off white color.

Rose gathered the sheets to herself, swallowing the bile in her mouth. The accumulated stench was overwhelming her. She turned her nose up at the medical supplies lined neatly next to the bed – anesthetics, a syringe, and tubes lay uselessly on a small metallic table next to a heart monitor. Tubes she assumed that had once been attached to her. She shivered slighting and looked down towards her own body for the time. She silently popped the 'p' in 'yup' in her head.

She breathed through the must of the room and counted off what she knew; she was in a hospital – at least she hoped it was a hospital, she had been hooked up to a machine at some point, and she was alone with only the sounds of a heart monitor and the rattling heater.

Rose let her body fall heavily into the bed and instantly regretted it.

"ouch!" She growled as her back fell sharply against the solid coils of the bedding.

"Damn old thing" she muttered to herself softly as she closed her eyes and let out a breath.

She felt so faint. Her body demanded that she lay down while part of her brain questioned their whereabouts. Her mind was too foggy to think straight sitting up. She ignored her brain momentarily as she allowed herself to become as comfortable as possible. Now, she thought as she took calming breaths, where am I. Her eyes starred at the light in the room, her thoughts like the fulgurating light, flickered back and forth, between where and why she was here.

The hastily wiped screen of the monitor to her left followed her rhythmic breathing, her heart thudding loudly through the machine. Occasionally, the din sent a wisp of dust circling to the ground to pool amidst its brothers.

Her brain tugged at her, something, or someone was missing.

Where was Benjamin?

Her teeth chewed on her inner cheek. Her nose whistled as she pulled in irregular breaths.

The machine started beeping erratically.

Where was Mum?

The machine started emitting a plethora of noises.

They should have been here if she was sick, she realized shakily. It was not as if they could not afford an expensive hospital with Pete's, and her own, salary. Why would her mother place her here? Something was _wrong. _

No longer able to stop the terror that ran through her veins, she ripped off the small suckers on her chest and wrist, bent on finding her family and finding out why she was here.

"Mum?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Benjamin?"

The room was silent. The heart monitor struggling to figure out if her heart was beating or not kept ticking before finally, like Rose's mind, flat lining. The shrill noise echoed in her mind, through her skull and throughout the room. Her teeth rattled as she tried to form a coherent thought.

_Where was she?_

She was alone. Why was she _here_? Had she undergone surgery? Had something happened to her while training?

She tried to focus on the last thing she could remember but her mind was blanking. Her hands kept trying to reach out but everything seemed so far from her reach. Her stress was withholding information from her – rendering it inaccessible.

One thought red lighted in her mind. A warning that screamed for attention amidst the fog and slow churning of her mind.

Daleks.

She could remember Daleks in the dead of night. Their thick bodies swarming the sky. The bright moon reflecting light off their bodies – gleaming, cold, murderous bodies. Tiny nozzles swivelling, swirling and singling humans out to singe them into obedience or dust.

Their continues cries echoing in her mind. _Exterminate. Ext-er-min-ate. _

Rose grasped her head between her arms, pulling her body tightly into a ball as her eyes rolled back slightly in her head. She could hear noises – screams. In her mind she saw them approach her, surround her. Their nozzles pointed towards her without thought. Without care. Machines with only one purpose – destroy everything that is not _them. _

Cool air entered the room sharply. The thick wooden door groaned in protest but swung open hastily.

A darkly skinned man with a gun, and a woman with dreads and a white lab coat, barged in with wild eyes.

"Oh god Rose!" cried the man as he leaned onto his knees, breathing deeply.

"shit, I thought you were in trouble". He looked up towards the ceiling and ran his calloused hands through the peach fuzz of his head.

Rose stared at the couple. Her previous fear wiped from her mind. She unfurled her body so that her arms and legs took her weight evenly on all fours.

Mickey's laboured breaths accompanied the shrieking heart monitor. The soundtrack buzzed through Rose's eyes, reminding her of running bodies, fear, and death.

Martha relieved them of the noise quickly. She pulled out what appeared to be an old cell phone and pressed a button. The noise ceased at once. She tossed her dreads behind her shoulder nervously and turned her whole body towards her husband's old flame. She had prepared a speech for this very occasion. She knew her husband had less tact than she did and, therefore, she had decided to take it upon herself to calm the girl and obtain information.

Unfortunately, for Mickey, before Martha had a chance to utter a single word, the girl in the bed launched herself angrily towards them. Still out of breath, Mickey became the unexpected receiver of a deadly Tyler blow to the face as his wife clumsily manoeuvred away from the hysterical girl.

"What are you doing here?" she all but shrieks, her balled fists falling down to her side. Mickey lay slouched on the ground, her body casting a deep shadow over him hostilely.

"You shouldn't be here!" she continued, her voice all but a growl, eyes glowing with malice. "You'll destroy all of time and space and – what are you doing here?!"

Before she could possibly even consider kicking him where he lay, Mickey side rolled and landed on his feet in a guarded position. He stooped on her right, closest to the door with his legs shoulder width apart and his fists up in practiced ease.

"Nice to see you too Rose" He unwillingly spat and licked the blood oozing from his lips.

Martha itched away, the malicious aura grating on her nerves. She was unsure of whether she should step in (and possibly be attacked by the volatile girl) or stay out and watch the fighting continue. She decided on the second but kept a wary eye in case the girl decided to become even more… violent.

"How did you get here?"

"Look Rose, I think you should sit down" Mickey admonished as he relaxed slightly from his position to wipe the access blood off his mouth.

Rose's eyes narrowed at the man's words, her heart clenching as he stained his grey shirtsleeve burgundy.

"Rose, please" Martha pleaded from the side, Rose turning swiftly towards her, fingers twitching and her tongue darting in and out of her mouth to moisten her lips.

"Please calm down" Continued the doctor, trying to coax Rose into submission, "you're still recovering".

"What do you mean?" Rose grunted as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Martha shared a look with her husband.

"As your doctor," she licked her lips, "I need you to sit down."

Appeased by the other woman's logic and cool demeanour, Rose returned to her bed, her dark looks trained on the pair.

"Me, sitting down." She grated, "why are you here".

Martha swallowed hard and fixed Rose with what she hoped was her most soothing face.

"Rose" she started, "We have not crossed universes" .

Rose offered her a stale look and a cocked head. A sarcastic, _Really?_ face teenagers throw at each other when one has said something outrageous or stupid.

"Welcome home Rose" Martha swallowed thickly, "You're back on earth. _Your _Earth. _Our _Earth."


	5. Chapter 4

We should be seeing so Rose-Tyler-Defender-Of-Earth action soon I also did a time line and accurately figured out how old Rose should be by now, so yeah.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

Can't you see that you're smothering me,  
>Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?<br>'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
>Has fallen apart right in front of you.<p>

_Linkin Park _– Numb

* * *

><p>Rose's face blanched as she tried to keep contact with either of Martha or Mickey's casted eyes.<p>

"I can't be here" she argued, her tongue like sandpaper in her mouth. She sounded like a broken record player even to her own ears.

The couple shared an uncomfortable look.

"Rose, you're back on earth."

She glared at Mickey and clenched her teeth.

"I can't be here!" She insisted angrily.

If she were here, than that meant she had crossed and torn a hole through the universes all at once. She had a responsibility to that universe and to this one – actually, she had a responsibility to every universe – and that was to stay _there _and not crack the walls down. Effectively, being here, in this universe, was destroying not only the second universe, but possibly all the other universes as well….

Rose's throat constricted. People depended on her there, in the other universe. They needed her.

"I have to get back! I have to save them!"

She made to stand but her weak knees drove her back down.

"Save who? What's going on?"

"Why was it only me?!" her face turned ablaze in anger, her eye red and seething.

"How? Why!".

Again, she tried in vain to stand but her muscles had turned to jelly and had left her to simmer on the bed.

It occurred to her as she sat, encased in this cruel room, that everyone always left her behind. They always sent her away. Always trying to _protect_ her when she did not need it. It was her responsibility to protect earth and fight off any invaders and she had failed. Rose Tyler, defender of earth! ha! What a joke! They'd just given her that title to appease her guilt - guilt over not ever being able to do anything right, protect anyone. She'd go down as a coward who did not stay back and fight, who did not even have a chance to do anything to protect anyone.

Thought her misery, Rose began to realize something particular in the way Mickey had been speaking; Something she had otherwise overlooked.

"How did you know I was there?" rose whispered, her hair shielded the lovers from her furious eyes.

"Locked away In the other universe again?"

"Well-"

"You knew all along and you didn't stop him".

Rose's deadpanned voice momentarily flattened Mickey. His mouth snapped shut with an audible click. He looked up at her and then away, unable to hold her accusing eyes. He balled his fists and resisted the urge to hit something, but Rose continued, her voice taunting him to break something and unwind.

"You just let him leave us there. You left me there!".

Mickey smashed has balled fist on the wall to his left, spitting angrily as he glared at the woman he used to love. The woman he had waited for and mooned over for years. The woman who fell in love with the Doctor the moment she had met him and did not even give him, Mickey, _her best friend_, a second look or though. Not even enough decency to break up with him! _'Thanks!' 'For what?', 'exactly'._

"What were we supposed to do Rose?" he snarled, pulling his fist out of the concaved plasterboard.

"Keep both YOU and the metacrisis here? Shit! We insured that you would have a good proper, and happy life!" He stressed the _happy_ in a hissed voice.

"We wanted you safe. We wanted you happy. You could finally have the life you always wanted with your precious Doctor" he spat.

"But he wasn't THE Doctor Mic-"

Micky whirled towards his wife, hoping that at his side they could convince the girl that what they had done for her had been the right thing to do.

"Rose," she started tentatively, "what else could we do?".

Fat tears fell down Rose's gaunt face. Her eyes screwed shut while she listened to the other woman.

"Your mother had a child waiting back home for her. Your family was _there_ Rose, and the Doctor, he knew this. So he did what he thought was right to secure your happiness."

Rose crumbled to the floor in silent tears. Her nose and eyes burning with the excrements that continued to trail down her face.

"Didn't I get a say in this?" Her voice was more accusing than questioning. "Didn't I have a right to decide?"

"But you did make your choice Rose..." hissed Mickey as he pulled a splinter from his hand. "You chose the other one. You kissed hi-"

Rose hurdled her weight forward, her arms stretched out in front of her as though she wanted to shake Mickey, but Martha held her at bay as she screamed.

"How do you know what happened! You weren't there"

Blushing, both husband and wife looked awkwardly between them. Mickey coughed nervously and answered her in a tone that bespoke wrongdoing.

"There was a war, a war that happened and did not at the same time. During that time, Jack and Torchwood were looking into the possibility of sending this _man_" he seemed unwilling to tell Rose about the Time Lord, "to another dimension: like they had once done to the Cybermen and Daleks"

Rose swallowed as she listened. She could remember the pull of the darkness as it reached out to tear her away from the doctor the first time.

"Some place this guy would never be able to wreck havoc again." he continued, "but the link between Universes was - and should still be- sealed and the best he could find was a footage, a blurred image of you and both of them...". Mickey coughed and rubbed his hands together and allowed his wife to finish the story for him.

"Jack was angry at first - the doctor had disappeared and he believed you were still with him. Safe. Happy. When he saw the footage, he understood the doctor's logic and knew you would be, that _surely you would have been,_ safe. He wanted to bring you back here Rose, but we all knew we couldn't. They couldn't take away your happiness for their own selfish needs" Martha finished for her husband, whispering to the broken girl.

"You were happy weren't you?" asked Mickey, voice raw, but Rose was too far gone. Her thoughts muddled together, unable to believe her friends had left her behind, but unwilling to wish it had not happened.

Of course, she knew the Doctor would not have told Jack; Jack would have disagreed with the idea. But, aside from their constant discord, Jack was a time anomaly (her fault) which had made the crazy pin stripped man even less amiable towards him.

Jack loved Rose in his own special way. And at one time, it might have been love, but Jack could not withstand a monogamous relationship for very long and, either way, she did not see him like that. They were bonded by a golden tendril; she had saved him and brought him back to life and for that, he would always be grateful towards her – even if it had also cursed him with immortality.

Rose swallowed hard, her ears popping with a low click as she did. Had she been happy? Well, yes, but... Of course she had been happy she fumed. But how could he understand?! He knew the difficulties she had been through to create the dimension cannon. The months she had spent getting a proper education and knowledge to actually develop such a machine. She had known there would be no way Pete was going to house such an incompetent "daughter" and had therefore gotten her bachelors in science and engineering over the span of only two years and had scaled through the ranks of Torchwood.

She had poured all her hopes and dreams into her studies – forcing herself to achieve what she had not in her youth. The years following the doctor had enabled her to concentrate in class - not only because of his elevated diction and intelligence (which she liked to think had rubbed off on her) but because of her _need_ to see him again. To get him to say those three words that would make leaving her family behind worth it. But he had left her behind again. Left her the protector of a universe and of a being so much like him but not. He had trusted her to protect that world and those people that inhabited it. Most of all, Jackie and Bennie depended on her. They had always been there for her; she needed to save them.

It no longer seemed relevant that she had been left behind. That the doctor had moved on. She was not the weak little pink and yellow creature that had first embarked upon the TARDIS and been whisked away. She was Rose Tyler. She was not weak. She could save them. She had to save them. She would save them. Without her, they would all die and it no longer mattered whether or not she did so long as they lived.

She felt adrenalin pump through her body - a burst of energy that caused her heart rate to accelerate irregularly and for her synapses to create links between her thoughts at a much quicker rate.

The daleks, she remembered, had appeared out of nowhere and they'd been so close to their building when she had fallen through time and space. There might not be anyone to save anymore. She was wasting time arguing, precious time she could be spending on saving her mother and Ben!

"I have to get back now".

Panic was bubbling in the pit of her stomach. A burning, churning feeling that swelled inside of her and Rose grinded her teeth in agony.

Exterminate.

The daleks. She had to.. She had to get back. Destroy them.

Her heart was beating out of control, her eyes wide - the whites yellowed and lined with thick red lines.

She gasped for air, hands on her chest as the air rushed out of her lungs and refused to intake any more.

She had to get back.

Exterminate.

She had to get back _now_.

Her vision was blurring. supernovas coloring her vision - bursts of blues, reds and purple.

She thought she could hear someone, (or was that her?) demanding that she breath. but she could not. Her body felt cold. Numb. Like it was not her own and she finally succumbed to the darkness that had been weighing down on her.

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><p>Please do not forget to review!<p>

Comments, suggestions and any additional help is always welcomed.


	6. Chapter 5

I re-edited chapter 4's end – i forgot this chapter, oops!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Oh you don't know what you've got  
>No you don't know what you've got<br>Until it's gone

_Until It's Gone _

-Linkin Park

* * *

><p>It had been almost a month and neither Martha nor Mickey knew what to do with themselves. Rose was clearly having a mental breakdown and refused to speak to either of them. Even with her plethora of medical knowledge, Dr. Martha could do nothing for her patient.<p>

"We should take her to the hospital"

But, whenever she brought the subject up, Mickey would shut it down just as quickly. His eyes flickering nervously, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips.

Mickey was scared, and while he would not tell anyone, he felt the cold stamp of dread flow through his veins. He knew that a hospital would probably be in Rose's best interest, but he clung to the hope that maybe they could fix her – they could get her working again. He was terrified of the questions the doctors would ask her when they tried to find her health records and find out she was "dead".

He was being unpractical and he knew it, but he just had a feeling that bringing Rose to a doctor would just make matters worse.

He could just imagine the man (or woman) walking in, looking at her and telling her:

"I will be your doctor today"

"Your doctor".

Rose had stopped interacting with them. She had receded into her own mind and stared blankely at the walls of her room. Martha, worried that she was not eating – of which she was correct, had proceeded to insert tubes into her body and feeding her through intravenous.

Martha fingered the bottle of Brintellix she had found in her medical supplies. Anti-depressants. She could not remember why she had kept the bottle. The medic inside her told her it would help her patient and encourage them to feel better, but the more _human _part of her told her it would chemically force Rose to let go of her trauma. It was not her decision to take – and Rose could not make a decision because she refused to acknowledge anyone.

"We should find him"

Martha turned away from her medical supply cabinet and squinted at her husband across the room.

"Who?"

"The Doctor"

Martha's lips thinned.

"How do you intend to do that? It's not like we can just ring him".

Mickey rubbed his nose with his index and knuckle, a nervous tick.

"We could ask Jack-"

"No."

"Oh, c'mon! He could help"

"No, let it go. We are _not _seeing Jack".

Mickey growled and rubbed his nose again.

"Then, we should track down the Doctor!"

"How do you intend we do that Mickey! For God's sake, I couldn't find him if I wanted to!"

"We could ask Unit"

"They're useless! Isn't that why we went solo?"

They stared each other down, daring the other to back down.

"We can't keep doing missions like this Martha"

"Like what?!" She screeched back angrily.

"Like this!" Mickey gestured between them, "Only one of us talking it and going at it alone!"

Martha sighed, hand covering her face.

"Then we should take her to the hospital"

This was a never-ending battle between them lately – who would take the mission, and who would stay back and watch Rose.

"We can't go on like this" Mickey said, voice of reason and Martha nodded, letting him think _he _was the one being right.

"Mickey, if not the hospital, where?"

"The Doctor, Jack! _Anyone _really!"

And again, the fight would start up again.

Finally, at wits end, Martha all but shrieked at her husband "Fine then! Take the mission, go let off that steam!"

Every mission it came down to a fight – a back and forth interaction that left both of them tense and angry.

"I am going to go check up on Rose"

Martha left the room, the door slamming behind her.

Fuming and arms crossed, Martha walked the few steps to her patients room. A sense of hope sprung when she noticed that the door had been left open. Had Rose come out of it on her own? Could they begin her reintegration into society? Surely, Rose understood that she was stuck in this world now, that she could not go back.

She knocked on the door politely,

"Hello? It's Martha, I'm coming in."

Sheets littered the ground, a miscellaneous pillow loafing next to it. But, no Rose.

Worried, the dark haired woman checked the washroom for any signs of her and returned shortly thereafter.

The room was warm and a bead of sweat formed at the base of her hair line, trailing leisurely down her slopped back. The room's thick, musty smell was slightly nauseating and her heart was pounding in her ears. The overhead light glared down on her as she searched the room for Rose. The only sign of her left was an old, worn, leather bag tilted slightly against a wall.

Martha swore. Rose was gone. There was only one place she would go and Martha dreaded the call she would need to make.

First, she decided, she would look around the abandoned compound before contacting _him_. As it was, they had not been on the best of terms lately and calling him might create a larger rift between them.

"Dammit Rose" she muttered before returning to her own Unit.

"Mickey!" Her voice demanded that he arrive now before she lost patience.

"Yeah"

His outstretched hand freezing above the facial hair he had been about to shave.

"Need to search the compound. Rose has gone missing".

Mickey froze. Growling, he threw the disposable razor to the ground and rubbed the cream of him face.

"Right. You take the left wing and I'll take the right. We circle around and meet at the other side."

Martha nodded and bit her lip.

"Thick she could have gotten outside?"

Mickey frowned.

"I'd say no, what with all the safety protocols I built. No regular person could get in or out. But, this is no ordinary person. This is Rose Tyler. She traveled across worlds to save the Doctor, whose to say she couldn't reprogram a security alarm?"

All of a sudden, Mickey realized how little he knew about this Rose – this older woman whom he had not seen for the better part of two and a half years. Of course, it had been _longer_ for her. The other universe ran at a different rate – to her, it could have been over four, maybe five years. And what had she done? What had she learned? What were her priorities now?

"I think if she's outside,"

Martha nodded uncomfortably as she worried her lip.

"If she's outside, she's going to head towards –"

"I know" Mickey grimaced, pulling his shoes on.

"Let's go".

* * *

><p>There ya go.<p>

Rose going through depression and becoming detached.

Of course, she is missing now.


	7. Chapter 6

Could not have chapter 5 without 6

Part of chapter 4 was cut and then added here instead.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

S.O.S. please someone help me  
>It's not healthy... for me to feel this way<br>Y.O.U. are making this hard  
>You got me tossin' and turnin' and can't sleep at night<p>

_S.O.S. (Rescue Me)_

- Rihanna

* * *

><p>Rose woke up exhausted. Her dreams plagued by images of daleks swooping down from the blazing skies. Of people burning, of people hoping and expecting her to save them.<p>

Rose woke up tear faced and horrified, and clutched her mass of dirty, stringy hair.

"I have to get back" she declared to herself.

She had to get back and save them. She could do it; she'd lost count of how many days she had spent crying, and whining about the issue instead of doing something about it. At the back of her mind, she knew that if she looked into the mirror she'd still be able to find traces of mascara on her face.

She suddenly felt angry with herself – she had allowed herself to wallow in sorrow, had not even bathed in god knows how long.

She could get back, she knew she could. She only needed to get back to her Torchwood base, grab the disintegrator and blast the Daleks out of the sky. She could then lead a small legion of men and women and force them off. At worst, she had forged many alliances with the neighboring systems and could obtain admittance - send as many humans there and repopulate in a different quadrant if need be. She was Rose Tyler, and she would be damned if she could not save the people she loved.

She threw the covers off her flushed body and swung her legs over and off the bed, ripping out the IV drip attached to her arm. She suddenly felt unbearably hot, and disjointed. Her legs shook under her and she went towards the bathroom first to splash water into her face. The tap water was slightly yellowed and less than cold, but refreshing none the less.

She considered taking a shower but realized she did not have the leisure to do so – time was not on her hand.

Determined, she stalked over towards the door out.

_Maybe_, she thought,_ maybe I can find the way out_.

She ventured out, eyes searching down the winding halls for any sign of an exit.

_Just my luck,_ she groaned; doors lined the walls on both side, and the corridor stretched and curved on either side, falling into darkness.

She popped her finger into her mouth and struck it into the air, closing her eyes, waiting for a breeze of air to lead her out. Nothing. Of course there was nothing – she laughed harshly at herself – everything was against her.

She glanced towards the "welcome" sign to Mickey's and his wife – his _wife's_- home and crept quietly towards the left and away from their door.

She knew she should not feel jealous of Mickey's happiness, but she felt her heart clench at the idea that he had found happiness, while she had not. But he had always been _her's. _In a way. He'd always been there to help _her, _and he was always there in case – in case she couldn't... but .. then... that was not right – she couldn't do that to him – and maybe that was why he had decided not to come back with her to the parallel world.

She felt angry with a man she once knew, a man who had allowed Mickey to remain on earth, on _their _earth, but had forced her into a parallel world through a misguided assumption that she would fall in love and have her happily ever after. Rubbish. Pure and utter rubbish.

With one look back at Mickey's home, she stalked away, hand on the wall and her heart squeezing in an uncomfortable way. She vaguely remembered him checking up on her while she was ... sick, and she tried in vain to bring his face up again so that she could memorize every line on his face, the dip of his nose and his intense eyes. Eyes that now looked more like Rickey's and less like her ex boyfriend's.

She manoeuvred around the dank halls with silent steps, years of Torchwood training leading her forewords in a near inaudible run.

She sucked her finger again and raised it in the air, but again, the current of musty air swirled lifelessly around her finger.

She suddenly stopped and fell to the ground on her chest: a thought striking her. She inhaled deeply – the air was much cooler near the floor, but covered in a layer of grimy dirt. Again, she darted her mouth around her digit, unmindful of the tastes in her mouth, held her finger out, and crawled forwards.

_There. _She let a grin form over her face, jumped up and ran a few paces before falling back down to her chest and repeating the procedure.

She scowled. She had no idea how Mickey or Martha made their way around this underground labyrinth, but she was a field agent, top of her line, she was a problem solver. A quick thinker. A witty fighter. She was not going to let these walls confine her any longer. She would get out of here and get back to Jackie and Ben. She would save them all.

Ahead of her, the lights appeared brighter and she could dimly make out gleaming metal.

A thick metal ladder led upwards towards a second level.

_How the hell did they get me down here? _

She stared in amazement at the small ladder before deciding there must be multiple entrances.

She reached out, grabbed the cold bars, and hoisted herself up one-step at a time.

Sweat dripped down her sides – she had forgone deodorant, and her breath was coming out in laboured huffs. Her vision was starting to blur and black spots kept appearing in the corner of her eyes.

_Just a little more_

She lifted herself over, and onto, the cold cement of the second floor exhausted. She could not remember ever feeling so tired. Maybe in another life she had, in that old life of mystery and running, but not since she had become a field agent.

She burrowed her teeth into her tongue and squeezed her eyes closed. She did not have _time _to faint, no _time _to wait – she had spent too much _time_ on this side already – she did not even know _how much time. _It could be too late – everyone gone.

She grinded her teeth and pushed herself away from the floor, and away from her thoughts.

She grimaced, seeing the hall fork into two different directions and sunk back to her chest, but she realized quickly, to her relief, that this floor had fresh boot prints. Finally, someone was giving her a break. She took off at a run down the hall, making sure not to make noise.

The farther she ran, the clearer the air got, and she felt like the fog that had been building up behind her eyes, was thinning. She felt her racing heart slow, and her breath evened out as she came up in front of a door.

The door was impossibly imposing with a large crank wheel door handle. Its gleaming metal surface reflected her image back at her – a sickly image that she could not take her eyes away from for long minutes.

She trailed her fingers along the seams, looking for a weak point, but the door was too large and flush with the frame. The thick bolts where done in such a way that, even if she _had had _her screwdriver kit, she would be unable to unscrew.

She clucked and allowed her mind to come back on her Torchwood training. She eyed the door slowly from top to bottom, then the ceiling and _ah-ha_. A small, almost concealed, wire ran along the ceiling and down the wall to a small alcove she had not noticed.

In her youth, she might have tried to rip out the wiring, but she had spent years with Gary, an American expert in wiring – and a bomb technician – and knew not to touch it before deactivating the system. He had been a perfect and model employee and he had taught her how to deactivate almost any mechanism. It had come in handy on more than one occasion when dealing with dangerous alien technology. The man had been, _no he WAS, _she corrected herself, a genius, and he had taught her to the best of his abilities.

"_Don't let me down Tyler" _He had growled at her through the cigarette in his mouth.

She bent over and studied the alcove with its blinking lights and keypad.

"I am so sorry Mickey", she muttered as she began the process of removing, deactivating, and destroying what must have been Mickey's masterpiece.


End file.
